"I need some tools." "I have been depressed off and on for twenty years." "I want to learn to not see things so negatively." "I feel like I am in the middle of a swamp and can't get out." "I feel totally overwhelmed." "I get irritable when I am anxious."
Psychotherapy taught me to use the skills of becoming a Valedictorian in overcoming depression. My husband would say I have made a lot of progress. I have learned to slow down and notice things about myself. The confusion in my emotions has cleared up. I am on an upswing and feel hopeful. The disconnection feeling is gone. Thank you."
Ms. Slow is FastI Need Some Tools
"I am not happy. My anger is affecting me. I need better coping skills. My situation is having an impact on my child. I am stressed. My worry is constant." These were my words when I first called Mr. Brand.
Six sessions later I now find that my anger is under control. I am not depressed and I have a handle on my worries. Fifteen pounds have fallen off of me. I am no longer tired all the time. My patience is now more powerful than my anger was. I feel like a million bucks!!!!! A big bright light is now guiding me. The deep black hole is gone. I have let go of grudges!! Wow!!!!"
Finding HappinessI Am Not Happy
I was addicted to pain medication.
My childhood was happy. I loved sports. Some traumatic losses of grandparents were tough, but the hardest of all was a sports injury that left me unable to play college sports. Subsequently, I became addicted to pain pills. My college grades dropped dramatically. After talking to a counselor (Mr. Brand), I became motived to quit the drugs.
It wasn't easy. Mr. Brand and I went to the root of the problem and found solutions. The twenty months of counseling, my family's support, and God were the keys to my success of becoming sober and productive. I am now looking forward to a great career with exciting possibilities of greatness.
Quality LifePrescription Drugs
"I have turned to drinking and my marriage is in serious trouble. Can you help? Once I start, I can't stop drinking. My wife has had it!!!
Kent helped me learn how to deal the tragedies in my life. He also gave lots of ideas to deal with stress and depression.
After four sessions of the counseling, the craving for alcohol is gone. My marriage is back!!!! The extreme anger is extremely gone. Grudges have left. Wow!"
Sweet DreamsI Have Turned to Drinking
"I had been drinking for 25 years and had no intentions of changing until my last DUI put me in serious legal difficulty. My attorney referred me to Kent. It was my first time to ever admit that I had an alcohol problem. I told Kent that I was committed to changing and experiencing a real and happy life for the first time.
I have now been sober for over 9 months. My emotions have changed from anxious, joyless, heart broken, stressed, and confused to joyous, curious, jolly, thankful, and grateful. I am no longer depressed. Through Kent's therapy I no longer have alcohol cravings. I am performing at a much higher level at work. I even won a free trip to Hawaii and stayed sober the whole time. Kent has even helped me to stop the frequent one night stands with women.
My personal happiness and spiritual life now sustain me. I am not worried about women now. I am concentrating on myself and I know God will give me the right woman in His time."
- So Much EnergyOut of the Fog
"I was drinking too much and got a DUI. My job referred me to Kent for counseling. Through the counseling I saw that I was responding to stress with anger and rebellion. I was also frustrated in my marriage. Finding God again, getting baptized and growing into a great relationship with God were the highlights of the therapy.
Now I have been sober for 80 days, the court case was dismissed, and I am getting along with my wife better. A great side benefit of counseling is that our sex life is now excellent. I have no desire to drink and have even given up smoking.
The critical and negative spirit in me has now vanished. I have let go of childhood tragedies and adult hurts. Peace dominates my life. The good keeps coming--my job has now given me a promotion!
My goal is to keep my success going. I feel blessed to have found Kent."
- Case DismissedDrinking Too Much
"When I drank, I drank twenty. When I partied, I really partied. I was a very womanizing man.
As a child, I experienced my parents' divorce. I did not have a normal, happy childhood.
After my second DUI, I woke up and got serious.
I have now been sober for a year and four months. My record has been cleared with the courts. I have re-dedicated my life to Jesus. My happiness is true and genuine. Amazingly, during my sobriety, there has been no sex with a woman. I deeply desire a strong Christian marriage someday. Life is better. My walk with God is great. Thank you, Kent, for helping me be wide open for good. You have taken a broken heart and helped it find joy again."
- Wide OpenLingering Sadness
"I was addicted to pain pills. I wanted to change my lifestyle but I did not know how. When I came across Kent's website, the first thing I noticed was "family matters." That's positive for me. I am an addict and I do believe that every man or woman should have a backbone friend or a sponsor.
Kent's program really helped because he showed that family and positive friends are important. He helped me with my anxieties and depression. I have made a complete turn-around. My gratitude is great to God, Kent and my girlfriend (she is my backbone).
I do believe that everyone can conquer addictions if they have a backbone friend and have decided in their heart that they want to be free."
- Sober 121 daysChange My Lifestyle!
"I was required by the court to complete 20 hours of DUI counseling.
My anxiety turned to excitement through the counseling from Kent at A FAMILY MATTER FIRST.
I had spent time in prison and had lived a very rough life with a "I don't care" attitude. Through the counseling I found ways to deal with anger, worry, frustration, emptiness, and alcohol addiction. My feelings changed from offended, skeptical, and negative to happy, positive, determinded, peaceful and grateful. I have now been sober for two years and three months. My mind is full of six powerful reasons not to drink. I even passed every psychological test in flying colors! I have discovered God and have found a new spiritual journey."
- Flying ColorsPermanently Plugged
"I would like to share a message to the alcoholics and addicts that are still out there suffering from this disease.
Remember we got sick one day at a time, but we can also recover on day at a time. My using career started when I was fifteen years of age. I accept the fact that I am an alcoholic and an addict.
In our lives we make choices. Some choices are good choices and some choices are bad choices. My choice today is to keep the plug in the jug and the pill under a seal. Life today is so much better. I have found a higher power that helps me in my decisions. He is there to help me make the right decisions.
I an now forty one years old and have been clean and sober for ten months now. I have achieved success with the help of God, a program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and a great counselor!!! It is a Great Program if you work it one day at a time and one step at a time.
I have several tools that give me a great boost in my recovery. I have a wonderful sponsor who helps me stay sober. I also have an awesome counselor that was introduced to me by a very special person.
I am so happy. I can look people in the eye without guilt. I have found the secret of taking good care of myself.
God has saved my life several times. I give Him all the glory for my life today!!!
My mother also is a very special person. She has always been there for me in the worst of times and the best of times. She is a great supporter of my recovery and AA. My friends and supporters at AA can relate to me and they put a smile on my face. I am totally dedicated to the new life I have found through AA. I do not have to frown anymore.
I will keep this story simple. You know what to do. So let's get it done together. Without help it is too much for us. God has all power. May you find him now.
Do you want this way of life? Try it! It works!! I know it does!!!
My life is great today. I am clean and sober. I have attended over three hundred AA meetings in ten months and I go see my counselor once every two weeks.
You have a choice. The life of addiction or the life of freedom. Which one will you choose?"
- YOUNG TRUBADORKeep the Plug in the Jug!
It is with great appreciation that I write this article for Kent Brand. When I first came to see Kent I mentally and physically could not function with daily life. I was broken because of a bad experience in life. It rooted from my past, but interfered with my present life at a job. I had someone who treated me badly as a child, and then I had let that person run my life. And then this person shattered my dreams then, and now. I can count on two hands how many times I have seen my biological father in 17 years. The last time I saw him he cussed me and yelled at me. Since I had allowed him to hurt me in the past I had let him hurt me again as an adult. I had allowed myself to forget about him and focus on a job that I loved. I have always wanted to please people and so I have let people control me up until a few months ago. Now it is with great pride that I can thank Kent and say I have learned how to deal with people who are not kind, gentle, and caring. I have also learned how to let how to let go of people who do not accept me for me. What me and God think of me is the only thing that matters!
I have always had issues with telling people too much about me and with Kent I have realized it is ok to trust in some people, but never trust everyone. This concept seems simple, but with those of us who have been raised in an environment not so typical and sheltered it is a hard concept to grasp. See, I was born in a small rural town with parents who both loved me dearly, until the age of nine when my father left my family and basically disowned me. This totally changed my life. I had to grow up fast! I have always been the child in our family who did not expect anything from anyone. I guess you could say I am a driven person, and I realize life is not easy.
Now that you have a general background about my situation you can see that I had major issues when I began seeing Kent, but now I have no anxieties or worries about my past. I have let them go. As a functional professional I can say Kent helped me get to where I am today. He helped me see that is is ok to cry and be broken at times. Then, I learn how to cope with the aftermath of the situation. I have learned how to hold tight to my beliefs and mainly believe in myself. If you do not beleive in yourself, why should anyone else?
This question is one question that I have asked myself many times. I still at times ask myself this question because anxiety sometimes keeps me from being grounded. I always need to realize that I am a resourceful, refreshing, competent, skilled, respectful, friendly, courageous, professional and beautiful woman. When I feel this anxiety of pain come along I just reverse my thinking and say to myself this quick "I am" statement. It is amazing how this simple quote can revert my thinking and make me believe all these wonderful attributes about myself.
I still remember the first meeting I had with Kent, I was shaking with fear of not being accepted and shame that I was unworthy of feeling great about my profession. I had a boss who tried to shatter my dreams by filling my mind with things that were false and quite frankly ridiculous. I worked for someone who found one thing and harped on that one thing until I had a nervous breakdown! Why in the world would I let someone control me, you may ask? It all goes back to my childhood. You would think that someone with a Master's Degree would be smart enough to not let someone else control them, right? Wrong!! Kent gave me some very helpful reading materials that have helped me find joy in my life.
I have also learned to be thankful and content. Learning to trust God in an intimate way has been one of the best things I learned in therapy.
I gained the courage through counseling to resign from this negative job. Now endless great opportunities are at my doorstep.
With Kent's help I have been able to calm my fears and believe that everything will be ok and work out in the long run. I still have days where my fears and anxieties visit, but I just reverse my thoughts and move on. I am thankful that I still have the opportunity to go to Kent and have him counsel me and remind me. He has taught me that healing is a process and sometimes it takes longer than we anticipate, but it is worth it!!! I know that deciding to come to Kent is one of the best choices I have ever made. I sincerely thank him for allowing me to become more aware of the problems and solutions. Now I can honestly say I am stronger person now than I was three months ago.
The Anxious Fear of the Past and FutureSo Much Happier
I was married for over 20 years and had four children. When she divorced me, I was a basket case. I was filled with guilt and carried a ton of emotional and spiritual baggage.
When I first went to Kent, I decided to work on healing myself first before I explored any other relationships. I had a lot to work on. I felt rejected and frustrated. My wounds were deep and multiple. Slowly Kent helped me to develop a postive attitude and to begin to forgive myself. Later, he would give me insights on how not to repeat the same mistakes again. I found renewal, peace and excitement in the growth process through psychotherapy. Kent taught me how to find the beauty of affirmation. I learned not to be passive aggressive. Relief from anxiety was a wonderful side benefit of therapy.
After the healing process was well developed, I met a wonderful woman. I took it slow and with Kent's advice and counseling I discovered ways to connect with her. I moved from the evaluation stage to "falling in love" with her. We now plan to marry and have a conscious marriage.
My advice to you is that the two years of counseling was well worth every cent. If you have just divorced, don't wallow in self-pity. Find a good counselor like Kent and begin to heal.
Quality PrioritiesHealing from a Bad Marriage
My anger got me in big trouble with law. My attorney referred me to Kent Brand for anger management. I needed coping skills and ways to relieve my stress. I had hit rock bottom. My life was full of hurt and frustration. I was sick of being angry. My life had been full of success like graduating at the top of my class in college. Therefore, I knew that I could overcome the unhappiness of my childhood and the tragedies of my adult life. I was so shaken that a friend had to bring me to the first appointment.
After only two sessions, I am happy to say that the solutions that Kent gave me stops me from getting mad. I fall back on my solution homework from the first thing in the morning until I go to sleep at night. The nightmares have disappeared. I have learned new techniques that have taught me how to relax. My happiness is so great because I now have control of my anger. A friend even commented, "You used to be a time bomb, now I don't see the tension or anger." I overwhelmingly feel like a different person. I truly took the counseling to heart. I have even noticed that I have so much more energy now. Being angry takes so much more energy. It is easier to be happy and smile than constantly being angry.
I have been tested and have mostly passed the tests. And I realize that I must continue to see Kent and keep the success going for the good of my life and to help me prepare myself mentally for the court hearings.
Flip Out No MoreBig Trouble
My Doctor saw my deep depression and recommended that I receive counseling from Kent Brand. When I first came, I was so depressed but did not want any medication. We talked of my childhood. My dad abused me and my mom constantly told me I was no good. I didn't even have grandparents that loved me. I felt so lost and alone. Kent became my friend and we worked together on my depression. I took his suggestions seriously and began to see improvement. Over four months my depression disappeared and I started to be happy. This happiness was sustained even when I saw Kent only every six months for several years. I now have a normal, happy life.
Depressed No MoreMy Doctor Recommended Psychotherapy
Our son was 15 years old when we first called Kent. We were concerned because our son had never dealt well with anger.
For two years Kent counseled with our son and us. There were many ups and downs because we had a difficult past to overcome and our son is a very strong willed young man. Our son bonded well with Kent. Kent remained solution focused even in the midst of extreme circumstances.
Our son is now ready to graduate from high school. He has earned a full college scholarship to a major university. The change is remarkable in him and us. We could have never done it without Kent's help. Our son is now a different child. On a 1-10 scale with "1" being terrible counseling and "10" awesome counseling we would rate Kent's counseling a "10."
A Different FamilyAnger
A local pediatrician referred my eight year old son to A FAMILY MATTER FIRST. The doctor said he may have defiant disorder, ADHD or even bipolar. He was impulsive, disruptive and did the opposite of what you tell him. The teacher was about to "pull her hair out."
After four months of psychotherapy with Mr. Brand at A FAMILY MATTER FIRST, we are happy to report that our son's behavior has greatly improved. His temper tantrums are not as frequent. He is able to control his anger better. He is even listening better and has learned how to be respectful. We received wonderful reports from school and he is making good grades. Our household is more relaxed and we are having more fun spending time together. We deeply appreciate the help with our son.
MAD TO HAPPY
P.S. He is smiling more and it is a beautiful smile. We love seeing it.Teacher About to Pull Hair Out
My seven year old daughter beats her own drum. She is defiant and stubborn. At times she is flighty and emotional. My husband and I adopted her as an infant. We need help with her focus, inappropriate emotions, and her stubbornness. I find myself having to constantly repeat instructions.
Our pediatrician referred us to A FAMILY MATTER FIRST.
After three sessions at A FAMILY MATTER, we have found peace, effectiveness, much better obedience, and improved school performance. Her confusion and anxiety are less. I have learned how to be more of a slow motion parent. Our daughter is significantly better. I am so grateful. We no longer need counseling.
A New DrumBeats Her Own Drum
We were referred to Mr. Brand by our pediatrician. Our ten year old son was overwhelmed with worry and anxiety. In the course of counseling Mr. Brand helped our son with some traumas that he had experienced with a kindergarten teacher and a Sunday School teacher. One of our son's many worries was that if he did not do something exactly right, then something bad would happen. This led to extreme behaviors and repetitive habits that were annoying to others.
When we started the counseling, our son felt unhappy, fearful, anxious, questioning, nervous, depressed, and restless. After nine counseling sessions over seven months our son now feels satisfied, inspired, peaceful, lively, joyous, enthusiastic, merry, and sparkling!!! Our son now considers God his best friend and has learned wonderful ways to relax from Mr. Brand. We have seen such great progess with our son. He is no longer consumed with the worry that was filling him with heavy burdens. I'm so happy that my fabulous son can be worry free and enjoy life as a child.
No More WorriesA Worry Free Child
Our son's anxiety was "sky rocketing" when a friend told us about Mr. Brand. He was nine years old when his anxiety became so troubling that I could not take it any more. Our son's primary fears were separation, failing at school, involvement in activities, being left somewhere, not knowing what would happen next, and people laughing at him. Other anxieties surfaced during the counseling. Over the last 16 months the anxiety has been drastically reduced. Our son is now very active in speaking, acting, sports, church and school. He credits Mr. Brand for giving him strategies to deal with the fears. Overall, our son has made great progress since the first visit with Mr. Brand. He now has confidence and has experienced great success in dealing with his anxieties. In addition, he is happier and has a positive outlook on life.
A Grateful MomSeparation Anxiety
I am a thirteen year old girl. When I first went to Mr. Brand, I was sneaking out in the middle of the night, getting in fights at school, cutting on myself, living on addictions to drugs and alcohol, and so disrespectful to my mom. I had even thought of suicide; I felt like nobody cares for me. In the first appointment with Mr. Brand, I opened up and told him my hurts and fears. My dad died when I was ten years old. I was very close to him. I also shared other traumas of my childhood. Talking to Mr. Brand made me feel like someone cared. He gave me some solution homework to work on over the next two weeks.
Now I am soooooooooooooooooo much better!!!! I don't cut on myself. I am happy instead of depressed. Drug and alcohol addictions are no longer a part of my life. I am inspired to live above it. I now have a dream of being a missionary or marine biologist. I tell the truth, obey my mom, even help her around the house. I hurt less over my dad and I am a lot more happy. I am doing great in school (my grades have come up to Bs and As), up for some awards and even becoming active in church. I have let go of bad friends and decided to only choose friends who will support my dream. The emotions I feel now are amazing: loved, blessed, comforted, nourished, happy, peaceful, tranquil, and giving. Mr. Brand asked me to make a list of people who care about me. I put twenty three people on the list.
I am earning the trust back from my mom. She is letting me go do more things. My motivation now is thinking about the results if I don't obey. I am not perfect, but I am getting more confident.
Changed GirlSoooooooooo Good!!!!
I was referred to Mr. Brand by a local pediatrician. My divorce turned into verbal abuse from my husband with my seven year old daughter sitting in his lap. I came to counseling blaming myself and seeing my daughter exhibit lots of anger issues. Nightmares, biting herself, and pulling her hair out were frequent symptoms.
My daughter bonded immediately with Mr. Brand and he also gave me therapy for my extremely low self esteem.
Mr. Brand helped both me and my daughter find ways to deal with the trauma that we experienced.
Change started immediately for my daughter. After four months we see drastic signs of improvement--no nightmares, no biting herself, no pulling her hair out. She is really happy now and sleeps good. Her school performance has remarkably changed for the better. My daughter is now eager to do good instead having a bitter and rebellious edge to her. She is so much better at not yelling!!!!!
I am also much happier myself. My Brand helped me grow in my self esteem and encouraged me to find the greatness within me. My main job now is to stay focused and not take all the great changes for granted.
Really HappyI Need Help
"Don't care" are words we heard constantly from our son. His pediatrician referred us to A FAMILY MATTER FIRST.
Our son is thirteen years old. He had a happy childhood. We had a healthy divorce, but in spite of that our son's grades dropped and he developed a "don't care" attitude. His temper flared often and just would not listen to us. He also had a problem telling us the truth about his homework. The prevailing attitude of his heart is that everything is "useless." His grades were terrible.
After several sessions with Mr. Brand, we see a remarkable turn toward good grades. He is polite, helpful, and focused on making good grades.
Our sessions with Mr. Brand were very helpful. We worked hard on improving our parenting skills and Mr. Brand was able to motivate our son to start trying again. The combination was dynamic. He has totally turned around. We are so grateful.
Turned AroundDon't Care
I felt helpless in going through a nasty divorce. My concern for my nine year old son overwhelmed me. I did not want the divorce to totally set my son back in school. An attorney and two Pediatricians referred me to Kent Brand.
Four years later: We survived the divorce and my son is doing awesome in school and life. I am so thankful that Kent helped my son with all of his emotions during the divorce. I could not have done it alone.
No Big FearsDivorce Devastation
I am a single dad who received custody of his twelve year old daughter last summer. My daughter is a wonderful child who was being raised in a bad home environment. Among several issues, my daughter was emotionally neglected and not being shown the love and guidance as you would expect from a caring parent. Her self esteem was very low. My daughter lived three hundred miles from me and although I tried my best to provide a good home life and a good example as a parent when she visited, school holidays and summers were just not enough. Again, my daughter is a wonderful child, but she had not developed socially or emotionally for her age.
My daughter always listened to me and did as I asked at the time I asked her. The problems I had with her were her repeated behaviors which caused her problems with her peers and problems with me. Regarless of how many times I had to ask her to correct her behavior(s), she would fall right back into the same habit even as quickly as five minutes later. This drove me absolutely bonkers! After time, I started to lose my cool. My parenting started to consist of constant scolding and raising me voice. I absolutely hated having to be like this every day. Finally, I asked Kent, who is a child counselor and therapist that I befriended at the YMCA over the last couple of years, for some advice. I thought maybe he could give me some "tools" to help my dealings with my daughter. I knew there must be a better way to approach her. He told me to try "THE NURTURED HEART APPROACH."
I was willing to try anything. I must admit, I was a bit skeptical. I thought maybe telling her, "thank you for taking the time to speak your words clearly," for example, might just aggravate the problem and make her do just the opposite of what I praised her for doing. Right back in my face! But, just as I was about to give up, it was like a light switch had flipped and she started replying, "you're welcome." Wow!
Things had finally changed and we are both getting along extremely well. No more scolding or raising my voice in frustration. I will admit that after time, I started falling back into my old habits and we were both back where we had started. I asked Kent again for some advice about what I should try next. He replied, "are you still using 'THE NURTURED HEART APPROACH?'" My answer was, "no." Everytime I slip away from THE NURTURED HEART APROACH, my daughter and I fall back into bad habits together.
THE NURTURED HEART APPROACH works!
Steel & Velvet DadFrom Resistance to Refreshment
Our nine year old son was referred to Mr. Brand by a local Pediatrician. He has always been a worrier. Nervousousness about school would paralyze him. He would have stomach aches and head aches. Fear, panic attacks and nervous fits dominated his life.
He did a great job of sharing with Mr. Brand. Specific solution homework was given on his level.
We immediately saw that the NURTURED HEART APPROACH made sense. After several sessions, our son dramatically turned to confidence, respect and peace. We no longer saw long crying spells and the need for constant reassurance. His nervousness disappeared. Our son's emotions turned from fear, terror, worry, sad, scared, terrified and anxious to brave, courageous, strong, calm, bold, secure, determined and happy. Being extremely nervous is no longer a problem.
We are so grateful for Mr. Brand's help. He helped turn us from being totally at loss on what to do to have a real plan of action that worked.
The Right DirectionAlways Worries
Our eleven year old daughter was depressed and did not think she could get better. She had anger outbursts, crying fits, and screaming encounters. She asked me to help her find someone who could help her. She had extreme feelings of "no one liking" her. She was an emotional yo-yo. Irrational tears were constantly interfering with family life. We wanted to learn how to respond to frustrations, stop outbursts and help her control her temper.
I took every part of the Nurtured Heart Approach and used it to the max. I even found creative ways to use this powerful approach. Every family member totally cooperated with using this miraculous therapy. The CAPTURE THE DREAM THERAPY worked with our daughter. She is really doing well. There is not much yelling. The bad days are now very few. Our daughter is now able to stop herself before an outburst. This is huge. I am so grateful to God and A FAMILY MATTER FIRST. Even our relatives have noticed a remarkable change in our daughter.
"I am a successful, lucky, courageous, life loving, easy-going person who is blessed with a wonderful family who loves me and friends that will support me no matter what. I have a wonderful girlfriend who is always there for me and a bright future with no limitations. There are no bounds to what I can accomplish." That is something I thought I would never hear myself say. Yet I find myself day after day, coming up with something great to say about my life and everyone in it. I have felt hopelessness and dread to a degree that I never thought I would able to get over. Yet here I am, shouting from the hills that I am alive and loving every minute of it!
I could not have spoken so freely just a short year and a half ago. I felt that my world was collapsing around me. I wanted more than anything to fix my problems and to forget my past. I could not, and my ever increasing depression from my past began to affect the present. I felt that I was doomed to feel this way forever and that there was no hope for me anymore. Then I decided I owed it to myself to at least try and protect my future. I began searching for help, and in no time, stumbled across Kent R. Brand.
I don't think I've ever been as nervous as I was the first ime that I went to see Mr. Brand. It's an incredibly unnerving experience talking to someone you don't know about your problems. But as soon as I sat down with Kent, I felt a sense of comfort I hadn't felt before. After a few visits, I felt the weight I had been involuntarily carrying on my shoulders being slowly lifted. A short time later, I found myself voluntarily facing my demons. Slowly, I began to rebuild my life around me.
Fast forward to a year and a half later, I have rebuilt my life and then some! I am now in the best shape that I've been in since I played football in high school. I have found the courage to start and maintain a steady relationship with a wonderful woman who I love. I have made countless new friends and found a new appreciation for my family. I see everything as an opportunity and difficulties as mere obtacles. I have completely changed my outlook on life!
Although it was I who found the courage to change my life for the better, it was Kent Brand who helped me realize that the courage existed in me. My thanks to this man who knows no bounds. So whether you are looking for help or just looking for someone to listen, Kent has helped me, and he can help you too. My best wishes to all who are reading this.
***The Winner first came to A Family Matter when he was 17 years old. His mother said the reason for the appointment was as follows: "I am concerned about ________; he is unhappy a lot; I am concerned about depression; he's being bullied; he feels like his life is ruined when it should be just really getting started. He has little self-confidence left."
4 years later-----
My son wanted you to know how well he is doing. He is a beginning Senior at the University of Alabama majoring in marketing. He has a 3.2 grade point overall; he actually made the dean's list last spring (2010). He has a girlfriend who he thinks might be the one.
Best of all, he is a kind, gentle, and spiritual human being.
Thank you for all your help with him.
Winner's MomClimbing My Mountain
My husband and I have an 8 year old who, over the last couple of years, has had increasing difficulty with separation anxiety and large-group social situations when apart from us. When it escalated to the point where she was too overwhelmed to go to school we were referred to Dr. Brand at A FAMILY MATTER FIRST by a school official with both personal and professional experience with his office. We were somewhat uneducated as to what he might be able to do for our child, but from our first meeting he made her feel comfortable and confident enought to speak openly with him about her fears. His approach was both motivating and challenging to her, and from the start she was enthusiastic about completing the "homework" assignments she was given. After a few sessions with Dr. Brand, our daughter is more confident and more able to manage her anxiety using the coping strategies he has taught her. In fact, she is now involved in an after school choir, participating in sports camp, and has (voluntarily!) signed-up and excelled in the area-wide elementary school speech meet. We have been very pleased with the progress our child has make during her sessions with Dr. Brand and would highly recommend A FAMILY MATTER FIRST to any family seeking Christian-based counseling.
Happy MotherFrom School Phobia to School Success
Our twelve year old son had threatened to kill himself. He was destructive and would steal things. His anger outbursts were terrible. He was suspended in school for crude remarks.
Five counseling sessions with Kent transformed our son. He started obeying, helping, and being peaceful. We were amazed that he no longer was getting in trouble. The suicide thoughts went away. Learning to tell the truth was huge.
I was empty. I had to have help. I was at the point of giving it all up after 30 years. My childhood was difficult with sexual abuse and harshness. In adult life I was raped. My marriage seemed like it was over. I had contacted an attorney. I did not know if I loved my husband any more. My dream was to get the sparkle back in my life.
After 10 marriage counseling sessions, I have the sparkle back. Our sex life is great. We are able to work through issues now at a faster pace and with more gentleness. I am so thankful that things are better. It is so great for my husband to value me. Marriage counseling is definitely worth it!!
Full of HappinessEmpty
Kent, I have to say thank u for everything u have done for me.....God has done great things for me and my wife......once again thank u for all ur help and God bless you.
Great ThingsGreat Things
We drifted. My husband would not open up. I felt so left out. I thought he might be having an affair.
Marriage counseling with Kent helped us put our communication and marriage back together. We are doing really well now. The turmoil is very low. We spend more quality time together. Touching each other is more common now. He makes me feel important even though he is very busy at work.
Really WellWe Drifted
Our disagreements were becoming more frequent and lasting longer. We were unable to get out of the rut of having the same argument over and over again. We had never sought counseling before but thought that a counselor could help.
After a series of marriage counseling sessions with Kent, we noticed that we were getting a lot better at communication. Our happiness quotient went way up. Our frequent arguments have diminished significantly. They have been replaced with encouragement, smiles and laughing. We have learned to put the power struggle aside ands to focus on meeting each other's needs.
Feeling the BenefitsHow Do We Get Out of the Rut of Having the Same Argument Over and Over and Over?
Just talking on the phone with Kent I felt better. I was scared and nervous. I just found out that my husband had been on porn for a year. I was hurt and shocked and mad and an emotional basketcase.
We told no one but Kent. Our hearts were heavy. My husband repented and let Kent guide him to help me to heal. I wanted to trust again. I wanted to "make love" to my husband again. I wanted a happy marriage. I did not feel close to my husband.
Over nine sessions Kent tenderly helped us to re-establish trust. My anger is under control. I now rate our marriage an 8 on a 1-10 scale. Even our affection and sex is a lot better. My husband has changed. I have changed. Our prayers have been answered. Our communication is smooth instead of full of arguing and fighting.
The Answered PrayerI'm Hurt
"I made a drunken, stupid mistake. I cheated on my wife. I want to get it fixed. I want my wife back."
I carefully studied websites and found Kent. I totally trusted his advice. It worked!!!!! Things are really good now. We are really happy.
REALLY GOODI Cheated on My Wife
My wife and I had serious marriage problems. We went to another counselor who sided with my wife. That was not good. Divorce discussions had transpired. Tragedies had devastated us. I did not wish to be married and found another woman. Counseling was our "last straw."
Kent started us each on basic simple things without taking sides. He did not allow us to argue. I relunctantly went to counseling because I liked Kent, not because I wanted to be married. With patience from Kent and my wife all of this eventually changed. The old wounds healed. Kent got us talking and spending time together. We started to have break throughs. I saw that the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence---it is brown!!! We started having fun and passion in our marriage!!! Wow! It was hot!!! We had a wonderful trip to the Opryland Hotel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our marriage came back to life.
We are doing really well now and feel that we will be fine. We thank Kent for his help.
Mr. Break-ThroughSerious Marriage Problems
I was desperate to save our marriage. My wife was not happy. She said that I am too aggressive and reactive. Her stress level led her to doubt the marriage and want a divorce. My intensity for life was misinterpreted by her and I was in deep trouble. In order to save my marriage I asked some business associates and my minister for advice. They each recommended that I contact Kent Brand at A FAMILY MATTER FIRST. My wife had given up on the marriage, but I wanted to do everything possible to save the marriage. My marriage was definitely worth fighting for. I resolved to change whatever I needed to change to try to save my marriage.
When my wife came to Kent, she had already made up her mind that she was leaving the marriage. I followed Kent's direction with precision. After several sessions it became apparent that my wife had been having an emotional affair for two years. I was devastated. The nervousness and tension was excruciating.
Because of our commitment to Kent, neither of us dropped out of counseling. Kent's solution homework and marital exercises eventually started working. Our marriage jumped from a 1 to a 10!!!! We had sex again after a long drought. Affection became exciting. Our love became deeper than ever in our marriage.
Now, our communication is good and our love is very strong. We pray a lot and the Lord is blessing us.
We thank Kent for getting us through a terrible, heart-breaking time in our marriage. We both appreciate God and Kent for guiding us through the valley of marital disaster.
BETTER THAN EVERSave Marriage
I felt distant in my marriage of four years. There was no real connection. My driving force was that I was missing out on something in my life. I was not attracted to my husband and was always negative about sex. My thoughts often turned to leaving the marriage. Laughter and smiles were non-existent in our marriage.
After two sessions of marriage counseling, the mood is lighter, fun is back, sex is quite a bit better, and the communication connection is alive and well. We laugh more. The freedom of not feeling isolated is wonderful. We actually spend time together and work very hard to make our communication great. I am excited to report that we are tons better. We are excited about our future. Kent was extremely helpful and successful in getting us back on track. My husband says our focus is back and the extreme stress is gone. We both believe that our ship is back on course.
Forever IndebtedNo Real Connection
My husband is a pastor. I just made a shocking discovery. I am lost, angry, confused. My abuse as a child seemed incredibly hard. I ran away from home. And now this! This is my second marriage. I have learned from these experiences that men are manipulative and self-centered. My biggest hurt is in not feeling valued. My marriage is the pits. I feel numb. Is there any peace?
After many rocky marriage counseling sessions, we finally finished the twelve sessions outlined by Kent in the beginning. We have made great strides in laying the infidelity to rest. The spiritual bond is strong. We have built trust in many ways that Kent has taught us. Resolving conflicts and handling strong emotions is becoming easier. We have committed to not escaping one another. The exit doors are now closed. He holds me and makes me feel special. His apologies for past hurts backed by the integrity of his life have produced a wonderful healing in my heart and our marriage. We now believe in giving each other pleasant surprises. Sexuality in our marriage has now soared beyound fantasy and friction. My husband is now the spiritual leader that I have always dreamed that I would have. On a 1-10 scale our marriage has jumped from a 1 to an 8.25. I now know who I am and I trust the man that my husband is.
We had a desperate need for marriage counseling! Separation, divorce, or marriage counseling were the choices. I was unhappy. He was stubborn, a loner and only interested in lots of sex. He called me bad names and I was not interested in meeting his emotional or sexual needs. Our communication was aggravating and a total power struggle. The bickering was constant. We did not even sleep together.
After six marriage counseling sessions my husband now says he "gets it." The bickering has been reduced and we are getting along better. I am happy!!! I feel attracted to him and have a new enjoyment of intimacy. He says we are closer and more spiritual. There is a world of difference in our sex life now!! Counseling helped me deal with childhood hurts. This made a magnificent difference. We talk more. Romantic dates are exciting. The overall tone is positive. We now apologize instead of holding grudges. We are well on the path to our dream marriage.
Well Worth InvestmentDesperate!
We had lost trust in each other. Exact opposites!!! We needed reconciliation, restoration, and renewal. Our marriage was broken. We both were extremely unhappy and disconnected from each other. Our minister suggested A FAMILY MATTER.
Our first sessions were full of hurt, anger and disgust at each other. Gradually we moved from total criticism of each other to learning how to communicate and break up the power struggle between us. We learned to show compassion for hurts. Our hearts were moved to decisively and willingly close exit doors. Kent helped restore "fun" in our lives. Then we learned a positive way to deal with frustrations and even rage.
Before marriage counseling with Kent our only goal was to win an argument. We had to take three steps back before we could ever take one step forward. It was either marriage counseling or we quit our marriage. We were that desperate. Our momentum was in reverse.
Now the happiness and joy have returned. We have closed exit doors. We still have "ups and downs" but we now know how to systematically move through challenges. Now our momentum is moving in a positive direction. We spend a lot more time together. We have a vision for a dream marriage and we are beginning to taste the wonders of this dream.
Broken No MoreBroken
I felt emotionally disconnected from my husband. The sex and communication had been gone from my marriage for a long time. I got another man's attention and had an affair. The consequences were devastating. I almost lost my job. My husband's anger was intense. I was incredibly confused and depressed. Marriage counseling was our only hope.
Months that followed were full of "ups and downs." We slowly dealt with the numbness and hurt. As we both engaged in marriage counseling, I became better at accepting myself. I moved back into our bed. Over ten months of therapy our marriage climbed little by little from a 1 to an 8 on a 1-10 scale. Now things are going good. I feel good about myself. The laughter, smiles, and silliness have been restored to our marriage. I am more at peace about my troubled childhood. Even our sex life is good. Things continue to go well. We just told each other last night that our communication has improved. We are grateful for A FAMILY MATTER FIRST saving for our marriage. I now expect things to continue to improve.
My story is heading for a happy ending and all I know is that it is thanks to two things. First and foremost, God. Secondly, it is because of you. I only make one visit to your office but it may be the best investment I have ever made. My wife and I were in the process of a divorce. She had issued a PFA on me. I was facing jail time if I contacted her. When I felt like life was over, I managed to find the strength to come to you for marriage counseling......Later, my wife and little girl and me reconciled!!!! Great thanks goes to God and you. We are now beginning to upgrade our lifestyle and hope to have a second child soon. Thank you so much, Kent.
Forever blessed and thankful,
A TURN FOR THE BESTA Turn for the Worse
I have said my marriage is over but, I did not want to have any regrets. I am not the quitting type. I was willing to come to marriage counseling with my husband because I figured it was "worth a shot."
The last four years of my marriage have been "pure hell." He is very miserable and makes everyone around him miserable. It is my third marriage and I had absolutely no heart for my marriage or husband.
Nothing changed the first four sessions with Mr. Brand. In fact, we had a huge argument the weekend before we saw Mr. Brand for our fourth session. He did not allow us to argue during the session and spent the whole time breaking down the problem into smaller units and helping us find postive ways of dealing with each other.
On our fifth session suddenly everything started going good. The nagging from my husband greatly decreased. I realized that he was working very hard on the marriage and that I had never had anyone who would try this hard for me. Everything is going good. I have moved back to my husband's bedroom and we have restored our sex life. We are laughing and having fun for a change. We still have a lot of homework to do to keep the success going. Mr. Brand will see to that.
Moved Back InWorth a Shot
I found A FAMILY MATTER FIRST by doing an online Google search. My husband and I had a lot of marital discord. I felt like there was a wall between us. I did not feel like he cared. My thoughts wondered if our childhood issues were affecting our marriage. We had constant tension, anger, and judgment. I always felt like I was on trial. I felt hopeless because it seemed like nothing was ever good enough. My husband constantly refused to go to marriage counseling. I was left asking, "What's the point?" It seemed like we had no real relationship. Resentment kicked in easily. Kent asked us what would be the first sign of improvement. Our answer: "when we can be cordial with each other on a regular basis."
After many sessions with Kent we both now feel that we have a special and meaningful relationship. We even were flirting and giggling with each other on the elevator on our way to our last marriage counseling session. The tension is now handled in a productive way. We have found our lost selves and given up the destructive behaviors from our disowned selves. We have changed from being cold and cynical to positive and refreshing. The trust and peace in our marriage is now solid. We resolve issues quickly. We don't have major "blowouts." I feel special. He is attentive. We have a rich intimate life. Mistakes are tolerated. A deep sense of well being now fills our family. I am so glad we took the first step of marriage counseling.
I MATTERI Want to Feel Like He Cares
Hi Mr. Kent,
It has been on my heart to e-mail you and thank you for your counsel back in September. I have been putting into practice what we had talked about.... I loved the books you recommended.... I am much better at coping with things when life gets overwhelming and I feel trapped.
Thank you for what you do. May the Lord continue to bless your work!
Power WomanOvewhelmed with Kids and Life
I had been in two previous marriages where the men abused me physically and verbally. Being molested sexually as a child did not help matters. In my third marriage I felt I finally had it right by marrying a pastor. After being married for several years, I made a shocking discovery: my husband was addicted to porn. I wanted to leave, attack him and felt it was over. But after thinking about it for several days I decided that marriage counseling was "worth a try." I told Mr. Brand in the first session that I was looking for the right fit. My feelings about my husband very negative. I felt he put everyone, including children, first before me. My marriage was in the deepest pit you could ever imagine. I felt numb!!!!! The hurt I felt was deeper than a death. I decided to take my wedding ring off.
Step by step we have both followed the guidance from Mr. Brand. We both took the marriage counseling very seriously. We have now completed five marriage counseling sessions and have at least seven more to go. This may sound unbelievable but it is true. Our marriage is now a 10 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being the best. Our marriage is happier and deeper than it has ever been. Issues have been addressed in a very positive and helpful way. I have had two "major moments" with my husband. These experiences have been incredible. I trust him once again. I feel safe and protected and highly valued!!!! We are becoming very sensitive to each other's needs. The wedding ring is back on!
Now we desire to be consistent and keep the wonderful changes going. We realize we must continue to work or our marriage will end up worse than before.
Major MomentsWorth a Try
I was married to a minister and we divorced. I wish we had tried marriage counseling. Divorce is much harder than it is cracked up to be. I still have to deal with my ex. People think if they divorce, they won't have to deal with the ex. Wrong!!!!!!!! It is so hard and lonely being alone. Dating someone new is not glorious either. I have fears of abandonment, rejection, and even greater problems than I had in my marriage. If only we had tried marriage counseling, maybe our marriage could have been saved and I would have been spared this terrible emptiness and these extreme fears.
Divorce CityI Wish We Had Tried Marriage Counseling
No sex in three months!!! Shocked! Horrified! My husband had been a sex addict for years. He was addicted to pornography. I am not sure what to do. Our pastor said he was in over his head. Where could we turn? Our marriage was in the lowest slime pit immaginable. I have no drive? We are not sleeping in the same bed. Life is miserable.
My husband took Kent's advice and dealt with childhood pain and adult pornography in a powerful way. Slowly my attraction for him started to grow. We started making peace with the past. The fusses and arguing stopped. My trust started to grow. We closed the exit doors to our marriage. Positive decisions were made. Date nights and surprises started to pop up in our marriage. We made sure we were strong before we graduated from marriage counseling. It took nine sessions and consistency over a long period before we made the decision to graduate from marriage counseling.
Happy GraduateMarriage Counseling in Florence, AL
Our marriage was not on the brink of destruction, but we had some problems that we just couldn't seem to make headway on. We knew that if we did not find a way to deal with them, they could cause serious damage to our marriage. Kent helped us to refocus. Through counseling with Kent we gained new dedication to our marriage, which in turn made tackling those difficult issues a team effort to find true compromise rather than a power struggle to determine who was right. Kent is very open and easy to talk to, so even though we were a little apprehensive about counseling at first, he made it a positive experience so that we never felt uncomfortable. We would recommend Kent to anyone experiencing difficulties in their marriage!
The Dave Ramsey CoupleMake Headway
My wife and I were referred to Kent by a local minister. I characterized our relationship as COMPLETE OPPOSITES.
In spite of marriage seminars and books that we had read our marriage was in terrible shape. I had lost trust in my wife. Our life was characterized by constant debate. Our sex life was practically non-existent. We both felt tremendous resentment and bitterness towards each other. I was married to my CEO position and she was married to the kids and her family of origin.
Step by step Kent took us through eight months of change. I gave up being married to my job. My wife gave up being married to the kids. Our respect for each other has grown tremendously. My wife now glows with a new beauty. I have gained deep understandings and insights which has radically changed the way I communicate and interact with my wife and the children. My family is no longer a burden. It is a joy!!!!! We now have beautiful and satisfying sex. The spontaneity, fun and compassion are now trademarks of our family. My wife feels valuable and special. We have good talks and special devotions together with God.
We had been married for ten years when the communication stopped. Previous marriages were both in our history. My wife became "sick and tired" of my promises that were broken. She felt "taken for granted." I saw her sink into depression and felt she was ready to end the marriage. My initiative to set up the marriage counseling scored huge "brownie points" with her. I started changing. Instead of neglecting my wife, I started sitting with her in the evening after work. The increased attention to the marriage turned our marriage around. My hat is off to Mr. Brand for his direction in this process. In 5 sessions our marriage moved from a 3 on a 1-10 scale to a 9.1!!!! We celebrated by taking a cruise!!!!!
Our 25 years of marriage has been full of tragedies, affairs, drugs, guilt, depression, arguments, yelling, mistakes and now a separation for 5 months. When we started counseling, we were separated and had been through 13 years of "hell on earth."
We were both willing to get help no matter what the cost. Now we are getting direction and guidance in our marriage. The difference is amazing. We are back together. We have had four sessions so far with Mr. Brand. Our marriage has moved from a 1 on a 1-10 scale to a 9. Now we think about stuff before we let it come out of our mouths. We look for a solution together instead of each thinking our opinion is right. We are controlling the situations together by allowing God to show us the way. We are more "in tune" with each other. We each respond positively to each other. We feel encouraged by the other. Now our life is full of attention, affection, church, smiles and laughter.
We look forward to continued growth in our marriage as we continue the counseling.
Doing GoodHell on Earth to Heaven on Earth
Our marriage went through an affair which threw me into a deep depression and bitterness. I went for days and weeks living in total despair and hurt deeper than death.
Now after five sessions of counseling with Kent I decided to come out of the Hell on earth. I can breathe again!!!! We are now learning to understand one another after this tragic event. Our sex life is flourishing. Our spiritual life is amazing--the whole family goes to church. My husband has truly changed through this experience and even though it has been heartbreaking for both of us I believe that I can honestly say that this has been the motivation for us to love each other like we have always wanted to but would never let ourselves do. We are eternally grateful for your help.
Moving to Full ThrottleI Don't Know if I Can Trust
I am eternally grateful to Dr. Brand for saving my marriage. Four years ago my husband and I came to Dr. Brand seeking help for our marriage. Drug addiction and high stress were also key factors. It took six sessions to turn our marriage around. We found a method to break the cycle of depression, drugs, fear, anger and distrust.
Four years later, our teenage daughter struggled with depression, defiance, and boyfriend problems. In three sessions our daughter turned from "everything is bad" to "everything is good." Her depression and extreme anger vanished. The close-knit relationship between me and my daughter was restored. It is so wonderful to live with a teen that does "not talk back" and does not argue constantly.
My eyes are filled with tears as I think of the success that our family has become. I am so happy that Dr. Brand helped us find our way.
Lost & FoundHe Saved My Marriage!!!
I would like to express my appreciation to Kent Brand for helping me to deal with some recent personal and family difficulties. His positive counseling approach has been tremendously helpful to me in many ways and has allowed me to improve my relationship with my wife and children.
I was recently arrested for "driving under the influence" which forced me to confront some issues I had with drinking and substance abuse in general. My court settlement required that I obtain professional treatment/counseling for substance abuse issues. The first place I spoke with about getting help told me that I would need to attend a full-time inpatient facility near Birmingham for 30 days or more. This would have required me to take a leave of absence from work, if not lose my job entirely, in order to attend this program. In addition, the expense involved in going to such a program would have placed my family in quite a hardship position.
Fortunately, I did some searching for an alternative type of treatment that would allow me to continue working and would not require me to be away from my family for such a long time. My wife and I arranged a meeting with Kent Brand and he agreed to meet with me on an outpatient bases. My wife, who has been very supportive throughout my ordeal, also met with Kent during several of my initial sessions. This allowed me to continue working through the course of my treatment and was considerably less expensive than the extended inpatient program that had been recommeded by the other facility.
Kent's positive and comprehensive approach to counseling has been enormously helpful to both me and my wife. I credit his caring an compassionate manner with helping me to overcome many of the difficulties I needed to deal with. My relationship with my wife and my children has greatly improved and I no longer feel the need to anesthetize myself with alcohol or other mind-altering substances.
I would strongly recommend Kent Brand's services to anyone who might be dealing with similar problems to mine. He is a true professional and obviously a man who genuinely cares about those he sees in his practice.
Peace at Last
*declaration of peaceDUI to DOP*
I had been through one unsuccessful marriage and then married a man who had been married multiple times. Our relationship was characterized by verbal and emotional abuse. We were separated. Counseling was a real roller coaster of good times and bad times for the first several months. We did not give up (although I was tempted to give up many times). My husband finally went to Mr. Brand for individual therapy to help him with his anger problems. Amazingly, after four months of counseling with Mr. Brand, my husband conquered the habit of uncontrollable anger and even reconciled with my family. Our marriage started to be successful for the first time. I really believe we are over the hump and have learned the skills to continue the success path for our marriage.
Surprised by SuccessMake My Marriage Successful!
How many times do I forgive? My husband is still with another woman! I am so depressed. We have conflict. He can be so selfish. What do I do?
We went through a long time apart. My husband started coming to counseling with me. I felt like a yo-yo. I was so mad I could have ripped my husband to shreds. Thankfully, Kent stopped me from doing this. I followed his advice with precision. It was hard, but it worked. We survived the affair. He moved back home. Our marriage went from a -3 to a +8 on a 1-10 scale.
We are both happier now. Our sex life is much better. We are thoughtful and actually have good communication. Saving our marriage was well worth ten months of counseling. Our marriage has mellowed out. We have fun. There is sparkle in our marriage.
Sparkle and the Frog PrinceNot Sure
We had sex one time in six years. With very busy lives we had grown apart and became like two ships in the night. Mr. Brand offered advice in our physical and emotional relationship. We started being nicer to each other and actually started enjoying each other. We both became excited about the changes in our marriage. It was a great day when we shared with Mr. Brand about a huge turnaround. We began to see true romance in our relationship with surprises, hugs, kissess, romantic music, lots of snuggling and foreplay, body massages, candles, and special acts of thoughtfulness. What a joy for us both to be totally satisfied as we restored our sexual relationship. Since we finished counseling with Mr. Brand, things have been going well. We are grateful to Mr. Brand for his concern and help.
On TrackGet Back on Track
Our separation was a big heartbreak. I made my wife feel worthless by harrassing her. We argued intensely and I struggled with pornography. I had a big anger problem and was very moody. My wife had already signed divorce papers. We had been to another counselor who told us we were fine. Something in our spiritual upbringing and love for our child made us want to try to find another counselor. We were referred by a friend who had a successful marriage counseling experience with A FAMILY MATTER FIRST. Our sixteen marriage counsleing sessions with Kent were filled with some bumps. After the sixth session, the anger and resentment lifted and we really dedicated ourselves to putting fun, love and romance back in our marriage. I rededicated my life back to Jesus Christ and we found a great church together. I radically changed and became a loving, compassionate, open, vulnerable, spontaneous, friendly, thoughtful, serving, honest, nurturing, Christ-centered man. As I changed, my wife continued to grow in her trust of me. She also changed and became happy, caring, devoted, spiritual, compassionate, and thoughtful. Now we spend more time growing closer to each other and to Christ. One of the greatest joys of the growth in our marriage is seeing our child happy and sparkling!
The Family ManFrom Separation to Spiritual
Most of us can relate to life changing events. When we think of these, we usually think of graduating from high school....moving on to college and then getting married. Wow! Getting married. What an amazing time in our lives! We can all remember that day. The love expressed....the vows exchanged. It was a great day. And then maybe for some it was the day you decided to follow God. One of the most incredible experiences of our lives was the day we became disciples of Jesus.
Now add to that---the joys of having children. Without a doubt, that is a highlight of most any person's life: bringing another person into the world and loving that person in an amazing way.
But there's one more life changing event we want to share with you: marriage counseling! For us, it was something that made all the difference in the world. We were a typical couple. Living out each day like "we" thought "we" were supposed to. But then trouble entered the marriage. We had problems, serious problems!!!!! God brought us to Kent Brand at A FAMILY MATTER. We went through 13 weeks of intensive counseling. We got real with ourselves and real before God. It changed our lives and it changed our marriage. It even changed our kids.
So, the next time someone asks us about life changing events, we'll tell them and tell them honestly, marriage counseling ranks up there at the top of the list. Our lives will never be the same and we thank God, and Kent for giving us our marriage back.
ChangedMarriage Counseling: A Life Changing Event
We had been to a marriage counselor who told us to get a divorce and it was all my husband's fault. How I got my husband to go with me to see Mr. Brand is a mystery. The trust was gone in our marriage because of alcohol and I was ready for a divorce. My tears and sadness were great in the first session. I grew up in a family where alcohol had caused devastation. When my husband's friend died, he turned to alcohol. This caused a great divide in our marriage. We fought constantly. As we started doing the homework that Mr. Brand gave us, we noticed that we argued less and less. I started feeling really happy because my husband was trying to help out more and he even complemented me more. Our marriage has now grown to the point where we have lots of fun together. We have a passionate and fulfilling love life. We even learned how to work though bumps in our marriage.
GlowingDo Not Get Divorced!
Our family was referred by an attorney to A FAMILY MATTER FIRST to get abuse under control. My previous husband and one of my children died tragically. I subsequently remarried and found myself in an abusive relationship. My grief over the losses of my previous family combined with my new husband's abuse of me and my children made me miserable. I was very depressed. The court ordered us to get counseling. Because of restraining orders, me and my husband did not even attend counseling with Mr. Brand at the same time. At first my husband begain to work with Mr. Brand on his anger and control problem. After my husband made significant progress, I also came for counseling. My biggest growth came in finding some peace and happiness in my life. I remember when we first started counseling I rated our marriage a -3 on a 1-10 scale with 1 being low and 10 being high. On the last day of counseling Mr. Brand again asked me to rate our marriage on a 1-10 scale with 1 being a terrible marriage and 10 a great marriage. I remember smiling at Mr. Brand and saying that our marriage is now a +12!!!!! Our lives are now full of great family activities, gardening, and romantic dates with my husband. My husband is doing great in controlling his anger. We enjoy working together on projects and are positive with each other and the children.
Plus TwelveMiserable to Magnificent
We had drifted in our marriage. Trust issues were a problem. When we called Kent, his approach sounded great.
Our goal of the first appointment was to open up and talk to Kent. Later, we hoped to learn to talk to each other.
Before the first appointment, we had shut each other out. The lack of communication was evident. We were each guilty of not paying attention to each other. Our marriage was rated a 3 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being a great marriage. The miracle that were shooting for was to get back to affection (it was totally gone). Anger led to stress which led to arguments which led to distance between us. Our marriage was taking a beating. Aggravation and grumpiness were prevalent. We felt like a blind person bumping into a wall. Our marriage was at a stalemate. We were barely treading water.
As we began marriage counseling with Kent, we each started to feel some hope.
Little by little our marriage began to grow stronger and the mood become lighter. Our sex life got better.
Next, we learned to turn negative energy into positive energy. Communication was better and we started to get along better.
Later, we found that we were not arguing. The mood was relaxed and comfortable. We started healing past hurts. Kent's communication homework helped. We saw no major dips. Consistency was becoming a habit.
On our last appointment our marriage had progressed to an 8. Things were going really well. We felt the secret was learning to communicate better. Answered prayers started becoming the norm. We are very thankful for marriage counseling through Kent.
Closed Off to Wide OpenSolutions to Our Marital Problems
I came to Kent when at my wits end and feeling like I was fighting an uphill battle against myself. Without judgement, Mr. Brand took the time to listen to my problems and was able to quickly provide the structure and guidance I needed to works towards a solution. He provided me with the tools I needed to continue improving my situation and to restore confidence in myself. Kent is a very knowledgable, personable and upstanding counselor whose services I would recommend to anyone struggling with a difficult situation.Jeffrey L. via Google+
To say Dr. Brand is an amazing counselor does not do him justice. Dr. Brand loves his profession so much that he does not see patients or clients, he sees friends and family. That is how he treats everyone. He truly cares about everyone he sees and only wants what is best for them and will help you in pretty much anyway you can. He is the embodiment of a good Christian man, but don't let that stop you if you are not religious. Dr. Brand is one of the best counselors out there and I am glad to have known and worked with him on my problems that helped me get from a college student struggling with ADHD to a college graduate who can manage his problems outside of what medication cannot help with. I will be forever grateful for Dr. Brand and could not have gotten where I am without him.Evan K. via Google+
I came to Dr. Brand when I was in the worst place I've ever been in - emotionally, spiritually, and physically. He has been kind, caring, and extremely knowledgeable in helping me through the situation I am currently in. His advice is wonderful in helping me coming to terms with what I've been through and moving forward with my life. The fact that he is Christian based means so much more than I could have ever imagined. Thank you!Johanna C. via Google+
Kent Roy Brand is great. He takes the time to listen and actually find what the problem really is, and he will help you find out why it's bothering you. He is very compassionate. I finished my sessions on 4/20/16.Dustin S. via Google+
"As a pastor it is difficult to find a caring professional. One who not only cares about the problem but also the PERSON. I would highly recommend Dr. Kent Brand. Impressed in Florence..."
Dewayne C. via Google+
Kent helped us get to know who we are, what are our temperaments, and how to better communicate with each other. He helped us get ready for marriage, and years later helped us again with adopting our sons. His personal life has been an example of faithful perseverance during very difficult trials, and when he counsels, he counsels from the heart as well as his own experience. His own marriage is a testament to that. We are grateful and honored to count Kent as our friend.Alberto S.
My husband and I spent the last year fighting over his looking at other women. He claimed it was innocent. I told him regardless it hurt me, and I wanted him to stop. He insisted all men do it, and there's nothing wrong with it. Sound familiar? Ugh, our marriage was falling apart over it. I began to refuse to go out in public with him because it hurt my feelings. I found Dr. Brand online and knew immediately he was a counselor we could trust. (Went to another one and it did not turn out well). So we began going for counseling. Right away, he helped us both to understand what is normal regarding our issue and what is not. I am happy to report that we took his advice, and we have our happy life back. Thank you Dr. Brand for all you do! We drive 2 hours to see him, and he is worth every minute of it.Carolyn B. via Google+
"Wonderful experience! Dr. Brand has made me grow into a better person! I appreciate everything I have learned from him."Jennifer M. via Google+
"My story starts with myself, and then goes to marriage counseling, and ends with me. I caught my husband cheating in October of 2014, again. I just could not handle this anymore, after all I had two other marriages gone from cheating and abuse. That night in October I threatened to kill myself. I knew I meant it because I knew the emotions I was feeling. The next morning I told my husband we were going to marriage counseling. ( I just knew if we fixed us it would fix me) I contacted Kent that day, and we went that day.
We saw Kent until April of 2015. On the first visit, I told Kent what was going on, and he told me I was depressed. I had been told this so many times by doctors since the birth of my then 12-year-old. I told him none of the medications work. He then taught me how to eat a healthier lifestyle (I still saw no change in weight even though that wasn't exactly what it was for). I was eating clean and exercising seeing definite changes in my mood and emotions. I still saw no change in weight.
What I didn't know is how deep I had went this time. My anxiety had gotten so bad, it had turned into paranoia. But why didn't any meds help? Well, I had a series of panic attacks that were really bad the week I left Kent's practice. I ended up being sent to the psych ward, and none of the very dangerous meds they put me on, like lithium and geodon, helped. The anxiety was bad, and I was tortured. I was hurting like an 80-year-old woman. I felt I had lost me.
You see Kent is a guy that likes to get to the bottom of things. I took that part of the sessions with me. I learned that my marriage issues really were not issues at all, but yet I was blowing things way out of proportion. I couldn't help it, though, and the doctors couldn't find what was actually wrong. I was told in the ER, "Your white blood cell count is sky high, but we can't figure out why?!"
I kept searching, and a year and nine months later I found my doctor. She ran the correct tests on me! I have a autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's thyroiditis and hypothyroidism. Made sense because the mood swings and swinging from hyper to hypo will cause you to look like you have bipolar.
Now two-and-half-years later, and 14 years after I first started having symptoms, I am finally correctly diagnosed and treated for the full hormonal imbalance I have. I have now been sent to a surgeon for a nodule on my thyroid that may have caused a lot of my issues. I am now eating a very clean diet, have lost 26 lbs. in 6 months, and my marriage is great thanks to the communication skills that Kent gave us!
I think back to those days and remember how I just wasn't myself and truly believe that if I had never went to Kent I would have never became solution oriented to get to the bottom of my problem! Yes, I said it I took my husband to marriage counseling for what I thought was his problem and learned that we usually focus on others flaws more than our own. Once I started focusing on me, our marriage got so great! Back to how it started. I am extremely joyful that I found Kent, and he was able to give me the tools that I needed to get myself back to me. Thank You Kent for everything you did; you saved my life!Shea T.
"Kent Brand is a spirit led mad that loves unconditionally. You will be hard pressed to find a counselor that cares more about you."Josiah Smelser via Google+
"We were blessed to have Kent Brand guide us through the adoption process. We have a daughter that gives us some of the happiest moments in life. Thank you Kent."Terry B via Google+
Dr. Kent Brand is the BEST counselor I have ever encountered! I'm 25 years old and have struggled with addiction for the past 10 years. I have been imprisoned and institutionalized more times that i can count. So as a result of my previous lifestyle i had been forced to see many different counselors and never could find the right one. Until i met Kent and he completely changed my outlook on counseling and the best part i wasn't forced to see him, i just did because he is a great counselor. He has accepted me and never tried to force me into meetings and groups that i'm not at all interested or comfortable with like other counselors have always done in the past. I truly appreciate everything Kent has done to help me overcome my problems. And I wish him nothing but the best success, and to anyone out there struggling i highly recommend Kent Brand! :)Samantha T. - via Google+
Kent Brand has been a Godsend to my ministry. It is a blessing to be able to refer people to a counselor I can trust to provide wise, biblical counsel.Seth H. via Google+ on March 1, 2017
Words can't describe the peace and low frustration level I have come to with this experience. Things I never wanted to talk about I talk about them with pleasure now because I am at peace with the situation! Thank you Kent!Will L. via Google+ on March 12, 2017
Dr.Kent has helped me so much with my marriage when i first went to him i didnt know what to do or where to go and now im better then ever i saved my marriage and now happier then ever i now no longer am having panic attacks and i know what to do if i do have one his methods are just what i needed i would tell anyone who really needs help and dont think that theres is noone to talk to hes your guy I AM SO THANKFUL I MEET HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is the best thing that has happened for my marriageFrances P. via Google+
Kent Brand is a great person to talk to when you need to get a perspective on things in your life. I recently lost my job in Feb 2017 after being with the same organization for 23 years. Kent provided me the tools and resources to turn my negative feelings into positive ones. I would recommend for anyone to come see him about any personal or professional issues that they may have.John J. via Google Reviews 2017-09-22
When my husband and I first contacted Dr. Kent, we had been married for 14 years and separated for almost two. Although we had kept in contact through this time of separation, we became strangers. Dr. Kent helped us build the skills that we needed to find our way back to each other. Our friendship is stronger, our communication better, and our outlook on our marriage life brighter. Through much prayer and our personal relationship with God, we have become closer spiritually. Thank you, God, and, Dr. Kent, for your healing hands.Grateful 2017-10-17
Kent Brand is someone you just have to meet to know how compassionate, kind, and authentic he is; words cannot begin to describe how great a counselor he is. I was struggling with an addiction for 10+ years and one day I realized I needed help overcoming, not only the addiction, but my feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and believing I was a failure. Kent provided the tools and skills to overcome my shortcomings and help me to look at myself in the mirror and know that I am someone who is worthy of love, peace, and happiness. My favorite characteristic of Kent is that at the foundation of everything he did for me was the love of Jesus Christ. He treated me with a heartfelt love and never once expressed any judgement or condemnation for my past actions or relapsing during my recovery. If you are someone who is struggling with an addiction or just need some help with negative feelings or thoughts, I cannot recommended Kent enough. He is truly a remarkable person. Thank you Kent!Michael Hoehn 2017-10-23
I would like to send a big thanks to Dr. Kent at A Family Matter. He has helped me with alot of problems in my life. He has helped me find my sources of drinking, and I have quit drinking. He has also helped me be a better husband and father to my kids. Me and my wife hardly ever went to bed at the same time. Before I would stay up all night drinking, but now we are setting a bedtime and going together. I feel a lot better in the mornings and have a lot more energy throughout the day. He has helped me become closer to God and be at peace with what happens that is out of my control. I would highly recommend if you are having any kind of problems from life to marriage, go see Dr. Kent – he really can help you.”Brandin Roberts 2018-02-19
When I first started coming to Kent I was at my complete lowest. I knew that if I didn’t get help that I wouldn’t be here another year. I have never been so grateful for one person in my life. Going to Kent was the best decision I could have ever made. I have been going to him for exactly two years and six months, and the change in me is outstanding. I use to dread the day before it started. I was 21, and I wouldn’t charge my phone, go out with friends, go to work or anything. I would lay in bed for days and just cry. He has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. He never judged. He always gave me tool to help with day to day life. He praised me when I did great things and helped me when I would trail off. I would recommend this man to anyone that has any problem what so ever. The level of understanding and care that he has is out of this world. So please, if you’re having any problems, whether it be marital, addiction or mental health, please go talk to him, and I promise it will get better! I wholeheartedly believe this man helped save my life, and he can yours to!Kristin Woodard via Google+ 2018-03-05
Kent is a great guy! I love his personality!David Reed via Google+ 2018-04-25
After suffering with decades of depression and no self esteem, I am so thankful to have a whole new life perspective. While there are several factors that have played a role in this transformation, I must give Kent Brand a lot of credit. With his guidance and objectives designed to face my darkest demons, I was able to equip myself with tools to prevent relapsing into weeks of depression. Having tried medications in the past without success due to side effects I was pleased that I was able to free myself from the obstacles that were holding me back from happiness with therapy. I believe it was in God's plan for me to cross paths with Kent. Thank you, Kent, for your dedication to your profession. If you are in need of therapy for depression, I strongly recommend you check out A Family Matter!Greg Mitchell via Google+ 2018-04-26