Fighting is a normal part of every couples’ relationship, but if lately you feel like all you do is fight, it might be time take to take a new course of action. Couples counseling presents an opportunity for your spouse and you to have a safe and un-biased space to communicate what’s bothering you and work out the differences that are causing your conflict. Also, many couples are able to overcome communication divides and underlying problems that might have unknowingly been affecting their relationship.
At what point do your relationship problems become serious enough that you should reach out to someone for help to mend them? Here are a few key signs that it might be time for couples counseling:
1. You Constantly Fight About the Same Things
Usually, when couples have the same fight repeatedly, it means they are not communicating their needs to their partner in a way that their partner can understand. This will often lead to yelling, screaming, attacking, and silent-treatments when one party decides that the other person is not hearing them.
Couples counseling helps you resolve these issues by teaching you how to speak to your husband or wife in a way that they can understand. For example, your counselor can help you learn how to express to your significant other why you are so passionate about the dishwasher being loaded in a specific way. Although this might seem minor to your spouse, it really bothers you when they continuously disregard your requests. The more these minor problems are swept under the rug; the bigger your fights will grow each time something new arises.
2. You Completely Ignore the Problem
You both know there is something seriously wrong happening in your relationship, but neither of you wants to address it. Instead, you’ve both resorted to silently ignoring the problem or problems and are living your daily lives on eggshells and/or with a general lack of enthusiasm.
3. You Have Stopped Having Sex
Somewhere in your relationship the lack of emotional intimacy has translated into a loss of physical intimacy as well. Either you feign being tired or busy to avoid engaging with your partner or you stop caring enough to even try. Almost always, the lack of sex is part of a much larger issue, and relationship counseling will help you discover what lies at the root of your divide in the bedroom.
4. You Nitpick At One Another Constantly
Sometimes a relationship can grow so toxic that nearly every word you say to one another is negative. Constant picking and judging each other or saying words with a negative tone can quickly degrade any relationship if it is not resolved. It can also lead to an emotionally abusive situation.
5. You Believe Everything Would Be Better if Your Partner Would Just Change
Try as you might, the only person you are ever going to have full control over is yourself. You cannot change who your significant other is, but you can learn how to be more open and communicative with them so they understand why something they do bugs you. That being said if you are waiting on your spouse to change in order to be happy, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Visiting a counselor will not just help you work out the kinks in your relationship, but help you address your own underlying problems that might be subconsciously affecting the way you treat your relationship.
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