During the rise of Facebook and social media, I have seen one or both spouses of numerous couples "friend" someone from a past or present relationship. This can lead to intimacies and deceit outside the marriage, and eventually, the other spouse will discover this unfaithfulness.
Many times, I have received desperate calls from couples in this exact situation. After the initial bombardment of emotions hits (panic, fear, hostility, anger, despair, guilt, resentment, sorrow, and grief), one or both individuals might decide to turn to counseling to heal and piece their marriage back together.
In the article titled, "Meage A Trois (Is Tech Sabotaging Your Love Life?)" from Psychology Today, author Hara Estroff Marano discusses how we have found great convenience and value in our computers, phones, tablets, and social media. However, we have not learned how to put them in their place. We often let our phone, television, or computer prevent us from engaging with our spouse on a deep and meaningful level.
To maintain a personal relationship with your spouse, I recommend using your device solely for the work or family task that you acquired it for initially. Talk as a couple about setting up times when the phones and computers must be put away so time can be devoted to your marriage and family. You will appreciate the life and memories you get back from not always being distracted by your phone.
If you feel your tech habit has gone so far that it might be jeopardizing your marriage, call me today. I work with couples every day to help them find their way out of their phones so they are able to reconnect with their spouse and family.